A clean sweep
Of brushless strokes
Nothing is erased
And nothing is new
But it has all changed
Into the costume of itself
Strangled by love
The enemy returns home
To gaze into the hearth
Of fireless motion
Memories of what will be
Flood the castle of dormant dreams
Leaving the silhouetted message
“Now is not what you think it is”
Here’s to looking up
And seeking you out
Under the knowing pretense
That this home is a mirage
And that your true dwelling
Follows the internal path
To the sacred space within
Which is the true birthplace
Of this dreamscape creation
So ding dong?
Are you home?
And would you like to play with me?
You have made it so lovely out
Maybe it is time to roam
In this imperfect masterpiece of yours
It is truly one of my favorites
Your work continues to grow
And find it’s true authenticity
I myself am a collector
Of such beautiful graces
I killed a part of you
And as my action became conscious
And I realized what I did
I knew that I killed a part of myself
And I grew sad and angry
And started to wilt
But you spoke to me softly
Reminding me you would grow again
This time more beautiful and with renewed spirit
And the scar that forms
From where death’s incision lays
Will act as a reminder
That death is just a new beginning
THE BOY WHO LOVED EVERYTHING
I feel an urge to tell you
Of the boy who once loved everything
From people to places to food to things
There wasn’t one he valued less than another
Because then the world was made of magic
And it powered everything in existence
But mostly because he didn’t know how not to
So he loved his parents even though they got angry
And he loved himself even though he got sad
And he radiated the world and reflected back the love he consumed
He never lost this love
It was so strong in him it energized him for lifetimes
Until he found a way to communicate with everyone on earth
So he took the light inside himself
And engulfed his whole body
As he rose to the heavens to greet the world
The boy we now call sun
There is not a mean enough word for how I feel
Not a weapon powerful enough to do the damage I seek
Be careful where you push cause you’ve never seen what’s underneath
My rage is a tsunami and I’m flying off the ocean
Here’s to being nice for such a long time
I take delight in the knowledge that I could tear you apart
That I have complete dominance over you
I just choose to play marionette
And let you think you are the puppeteer
Scared?
That’s the shit that feeds me
And I’m malnourished from self starvation
Tremble… and watch where hunger will lead
EXPLOSIVE YOU
You’re the happy end of a trigger
And I’m the push spring fool
That bounces back every time
You choose to flash your smile
I coil in wait for your sights to set
On a lunar powered target
That circles around my bulletproof heart
But you’re a sniper in the grass
And the snakes have lost their temperament
So we play the dance in imperfect rhythm
And lose ourselves within the game
Mud slide, vasoline pie
With goopy delight you let it fly
Slippery eel on slick fruit peels
A walk on cakes is what we squeal!
This dull ache in your chest
Is not a void absent of love
It is your heart reminding you
That with every pounding thud you are alive
And that in itself is love in it’s entirety
And it will pound and echo its message wholly
Then it will dutifully drop the drum
For you have already entered home
I TRY
I try so hard not to be mean
I try so hard to do my best
I try to listen better
To think less
To eat right
I try so hard to let go
To move on
To surrender
I try so hard to forgive
To give just to give
I try so hard to change
To transform
To be different
I try so hard to laugh more
To smile more
To dance
I try so very hard not to be sad
To be angry
To be scared
I try so hard not to project my feelings
To react
To be patterned
I try so hard to be loved
But all I’m doing is trying
So I will try not to try so hard anymore
I see you
It took me many years
To adjust my eyes
But today I see you
You are more lovely
Than I ever imagined
Every detail more beautiful
Than the images I once filled in
I see you with my heart
I see you with my eyes closed
I see you as you are
As you have always been
And it ignites my heart to see you
It was worth being blind
All those many years
To see you now in this moment
For this moment is forever
Never to be lost in time
My eyes and heart wide open
And surrender to this gift of you
Thank you for showing up
And allowing yourself to be seen
We are a mirror for each other
I am so blessed you chose me
I see you
And today I make a promise
That in all moments
I open myself up to see and be see
A new birth occurs
A filtration system for the mind
Removing the toxicity from leaden thoughts
Cleaning them up for their first day of school
Today they meet their new friends
Who drop their imaginary swords
And extend their molten arms
To wrap their new mate in a winged chrysalis
It is with love they dance a new dance
And love that the music changes its tune
To fit the unified rhythm of a new merging
And everything adapts and everything sings
For the limitations have been melted away
Anchored by love
I sink
Is it drowning if by choice?
And if love feels heavy is it love?
Or has it been twisted into a clown mirror?
Are you looking from the other side?
Laughing at my expense?
But who would rather join whom?
I love it when you dance
Even if you know I’m watching
A songbird reminded me of you
I called in her fashion
I’m waiting and I’ve got nowhere to run
Cause I’m anchored by love
A dot A spot
A tiny thought
A shape A snake
A beautiful mistake
Rhythm and reason
And seasonless feelings
Gone great illusion
And passionless musings
Together but here
Know where is nowhere
Sense filled destruction
Loves looms and lingers
Forget the abyss
Forget forget open
I lie in wait for my life to come
It’s a lonely occupation
My dreams exhaust me and spoil the fun
I fight with my breath but she’s such a poor competitor
I used to enjoy untangling the cords to my video game machine
But now they are replaced with thoughts and the game is old
I lie in wait for my life to come
It builds an awful hunger but I’m too scared to move
I create meaning where love once lived
And struggle to entertain this audience of one
I wonder if the sun still shines
And if you remember saying you’d return
As I lie in wait for my life to come
Oh you silence! You unbearable brute!
How dare you interrupt a perfectly good noise!
You’re a bully! A steel-toed sandal on a broken boned foot!
A careless menace!
Care you not for the simple wishes of a jaded mind?
Who wants only to drown out this crippling stillness
With a few junk food sounds
For poison is sweet nectar to mutated cells
So vanish with a bang and leave me alone
To drown in a twisted clanging sea
And find my peace in the storm